The Healer’s Disease

There is one thing that many healers have in common: the drive to heal others is greater than the individual’s need or want for healing from that specific healer or in general. 

Some people just don’t want me or anyone else to help them, even if I could and even if I believe that I really am able to. 

To always ask for permission before helping others and to only help if help is asked for is fundamental. To me it’s a matter of basic integrity and free will based choice. 

But so many healers (and therapists in general) don’t even recognize this and step over boundaries to help others, without asking for permission, just because they want to. 

What is the driving force that wants us to help others even though help isn’t asked for or wanted? That is what we need to ask ourselves when we get into situations where we are turned down and judge another’s choice of not wanting help or assistance. The answer is often based on the lower ego wanting recognition and confirmation, being the saviour. Boosting the lower ego, low self-esteem and subconscious insecurities. That combined with poor boundaries and taking on too much responsibility which also is about reducing other peoples own power, making them small. 

The most challenging part in this may be when it comes to family members. Eapecially as a parent with young adults. Where you still are the parent, but your child is of an age where your parenting is not to take over the full responsibility for your child, but more of a supportive character, coaching the young one into adulthood. If the young adult doesn’t want your help as a parent it should be respected as well as with everyone else, though it may be much morepainful than with other people. A basic question in that case would also to be if the parent is too involved and too close already to be the best choice in that kind of situation as well. 

In any case: we always need permission in order to help others and we also need to accept and respect their choices. We don’t have the full picture. Maybe that soul has another path to go and I am not included in it. Or maybe I will be at an other point in time. .

I am good enough even if my help and assistance isn’t wanted. 

It’s all good. 😊
In love and light/

Lena

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